It's been quite a while since I have updated my site, and I have a notion to be more devoted to periodically updating it. Really, a lot has happened in the first quarter of 2025, and I've been working on taking care of myself and understanding myself in ways that I never have before. The last quarter of 2024 was really tough for me, for no particular reason other than the depression I have always struggled with hit me particularly hard. I am so relieved to say that on the whole, I'm feeling much better lately. I just wanted to use this post to explore the reasons why.

Seeking mental health treatment

I have attended therapy sessions previously, but due to a couple factors I found the sessions with my previous therapist to be quite a bit ineffective. Maybe it's internal changes in myself, or maybe I'm just clicking with my current therapist more, but the efforts do seem to be more effective this go-around. In January of this year I also sought medication management for my depression, and I am so happy to say that the SSRI I have started taking has been life-changing for me. I feel less anxious, less overwhelmed, and more capable of doing the things I enjoy. I have been doing lots of other things to aid my mental health as well, but I'd like to think the SSRI gives me the step up I need to have the energy to do those other necessary things.

Understanding and accepting my neurodiversity

There have been so many frustrating and alienating moments in my life when I have felt like an "other." I won't get into too many details, but this year I have come to terms with who I am via a combination of research, introspection, and consulting a psychologist. It wasn't easy, but I'm really glad I undertook the effort.

Setting boundaries

Because I am an anxious person, I have historically been terrible about maintaining the boundaries between work life and home life. Having a company cell phone makes it even tougher. This year I have started setting hard rules on myself for what work-related stuff I am allowed to do while at home. An hour and a half after I get out of work, my phone is put up for the night and will not access it til the next day. This has helped ease my anxiety, which had previously affected my sleep in a major way. I still struggle with sleeping soundly, but at least I have severely curtailed the work anxieties that I have while trying to sleep.

Finding community

I have never been a social creature and have always been introverted. My desire to have friends, combined with low self-esteem and a long-standing difficulty in making connection, has been a constant thorn in my side. But this year, I have found community in two places: my local yarn shop as well as an online book club. I still cannot say I am a social butterfly, but this little bit of community I have found is more than I have had in a long time, so I'm cherishing it and holding it close.

Listening to myself

The last effort I've made this year to improve my mental well-being has been to listen to myself. I am a very productivity-minded person and historically I have felt very guilty when my mental health has prevented me from outputting what I think I should be outputting. This year I am trying to be kinder to myself and to listen to myself when I do not feel inclined to do my normal hobbies or maintain my normal routine. I’ve also been exploring low-maintenance productivity systems, since even the simplest ones can start to feel like a chore to maintain.